I was able to spend serious time scrubbing and straightening at home.
It’s just a start, mind you.
There’s a lot of work left to do.
It’s amazing, how taking the time to scrub windows and wash curtains and deep clean a few rooms can also clear out cobwebs in your mind.
Like I said, there’s still a lot of work left to do. The garage, basement and yard are daily reminders of work left undone.
I’ll get there. It will get done.
While life was tossing us around like socks in a dryer, there was no time to do more than react and maintain. I found myself simply unable to give focus to more than one task. Things that required more than the perfunctory response were simply removed from the list.
Now comes the task of dealing with the complexities that were ignored. Oh my, that list is a long one. It’s almost overwhelming to consider.
Which has caused me to take stock. I’ve been stewing and simmering, my mind a broody and dark place, as I reconsider and reformulate my dreams and goals. Something has to give. One person cannot accomplish all of the things that I’ve striven to do without keeping a neck-breaking pace.
I thought I was up to that challenge.
I like to keep busy, mostly. I certainly enjoy gardens and kitchens and photos and tasks that challenge my mind.
The one huge hang-up is my innermost being.
You see, I’m an introvert. It’s something I’ve always been aware of, but for which I had not truly considered the implications until recently.
My job, the task that challenges my mind and gives Hubby and I the freedom to live our current lifestyle, forces me to take on more than my comfortable share of people time. The interactions at work simply drain this introvert. I had never fully understood why I would feel so wiped out at the end of each shift until I grasped my need for “re-charge” from the people “drain”.
I had the light bulb moment: clarity of my personal needs and a personal exoneration.
I could stop beating myself up for being a limp rag, and allow myself a period of time each weekday to escape all stimuli and let my inner being rest.
You may notice that this conflicts with keeping a neck-breaking pace.
Something has to give.
So, I’m thinking I may give up the full scale gardens for a while.
I would still be able to do small scale gardening with containers and the perennial flowers and herbs that currently exist. I already have lavender, hyssop, calendula, chamomile, lemon balm, mint, cone flower, Russian sage, Solomon’s seals, as well as oregano, thyme, sage, wild onion, garlic and rosemary – and the handy trough of strawberries. These things could get needed attention and I could add containers to grow a few favorite vegetables.
I will gain valuable time if I don’t have so many projects to attend at once.
In compensation, I’ll have to find good local organic sources for bulk produce and plan to prep and store those treasures. This doesn’t change the required kitchen time, but letting go of the full scale garden might allow me to finish those canning projects before bedtime.
I think it might work.